Options and possibilities

This is the 3rd time, I've tried to make this post. Well, not this exact post but you should know what I mean. Once I tried to post it and instead deleted it and the other time the computer froze so I just had to shut it down. So annoying especially since I always write so much. I swear I'd almost finished rambling.

Anyways, my boss became more reasonable last Wednesday I guess. He decided to let me leave (after checking the figures, I'm sure) as long as I repaid the airfare. I really don't like how deceptive it sounds in the contract. Resign before completing 6 months should just have to do with working there for 6 months. I really wish I'd followed through the last time. He also said he would sign the letter of release if my new school (wherever that may be) agreed to pay half the recruiting fee. I guess that would be fair if I didn't get my job through a recruiter but unfair to make me agree to something that a future employer would do. I don't know what will happen with that. I wish I knew how much the recruiter fee was. Oh, I forget to mention that my plane ticket was more than I thought. 1.6 million yen. Yeah, I don't know why my boss would say yen either. But that's about double what I was hoping it was. I haven't seen an actual figure. I really wish I hadn't been rushed over here like I was. Those airlines and there policies. Good thing I didn't have to fly first class I guess. I'll end up getting a return flight out of it at least. Jupiter was going to see if he could refund it though. I might never use it.

Or I might use it right away. Actually, I don't know. I talked to my parents last night. They both expressed how much they'd like me to come home. They even mentioned how all the gas stations and grocery stores were looking for people. Geez, Mom and Dad, I don't know what you think my future plans are but I don't remember gas jockey ever coming up before. It's one of my parents indicators as to the general job market but really the sound of it just depresses me. I have no reason to go back to Edmonton. I mean my parents are there but how much fun are they to hang out with? I don't know anyone in Edmonton anymore so I'd basically be starting fresh wherever I went. I really wish I still kept in contact with people from high school, or that I had made more and better friends in college(same for high school really), and that everyone I know weren't scattered over North America. I can't really live in the US without (lots of maybe) paperwork but I don't really want to live there anyway. I think that's one of the reasons I'm hanging on to the idea of staying here. I have one good friend here which is more than I can say about a lot of other places. I'm becoming quite a downer lately so who knows maybe that won't last. Then again he'll be leaving in 4 months. If I have to rebuild a life somewhere though it might as well be here. Actually, I don't know.

I've been having all these crazy thoughts. I could leave Korea which wouldn't upset me really except that I don't think I've really experienced much of Korea and I didn't make as much money as I thought I would. If only I had been placed at a decent school to begin with. I think my 2 problems are that I'm too trusting and make my decisions too impulsively. This college is going to give me a scholarship. Well, ok. I think I only have 2 regrets and going to that school is one of them. Sorry TAMUCC people. Well, maybe it's more that I stayed there for so long. I really wonder how much money I spent my last year on plane tickets. Let's see from September 2003 to December 2004, I flew to Seattle, Indianapolis, Los Angeles (I guess fall 2003 wasn't bad), Rochester back from DC, Chicago, Los Angeles to Tampa back to Corpus (still not that bad), Los Angeles, Las Vegas, Charleston, SC, Los Angeles (again, I know), Mexico City and those are the ones I remember at the moment. I guess that's only 11 and I didn't pay for 2 of them since they were parent related (met them in Las Vegas and Tampa). That's 9 and I would have to say they were all about 300 each so that's probably about $2500. Hmmm... I don't know how I feel about that. Then there was a road trip I took to El Paso once and another one to Memphis with my mother(strange). I went so many places in the US that year. I'm going to list for curiosity's sake and this post probably won't make it either.
Starting from my return to Corpus in July 2003:
Edmonton
Seattle (Halloween)
Indianapolis (also Bluffton and Fort Wayne, IN for Thanksgiving)
Edmonton for xmas
LA for New Years
Road trip to Memphis through Texas, Arkansas, Mississippi, and Louisiana (mom's visit)
Rochester to DC via Ithaca, Williamstown, Providence, Boston, New York (spring break)
Chicago (no particular reason)
Los Angeles to Tampa back to Corpus Christi (post spring semester pre summer session)
Austin several times, ditto San Antonio
Dallas
El Paso and Las Cruces, NM (strange weekend had to get out of Corpus urge)
Edmonton
Los Angeles on to Vegas for Labour Day (I think)
Las Vegas (to see parents)
Charleston, SC (Halloween)
LA (concert)
Mexico City (Thanksgiving break)

It's funny I went to so different places while being in school and working the whole time. I can't believe I went to LA four times in one year. It was split between 2 friends but still. I hadn't been to California in over 10 years and then just bang I was there all the time. I managed to earn a free flight though that will expire in November unless I take another trip on Continental. Hmmm..

Anyways, that was rather pointless. My other thoughts if I'm unable to find anything in Daegu is to go somewhere else in Korea, which I'm not sure how I feel about. Or (and these are my most recent flights of fancy) take a ferry to Vladivostock and catch a train to Moscow and head on to Stockholm. I should be able to do a working holiday program there. I just need to apply for the visa 6 weeks before my arrival there. I could've gone to Australia which was my plan but I need a minimum of $7000 to my name and don't know if I'd be able to manage that. Sweden only required $2000. I don't know about the Netherlands or France. The strange thing about Sweden though is I'd only be going to reacquaint myself with Scandinavia. I could live in Malmo and go to Kbh all the time for sweet Matilde and Cafe Istanbul. It would be so nice but I don't think Copenhagen would be the same without the same people. I could scam a visits from old friends though. If only I'd made more money. Then, I could go back to Alberta and pump gas. I don't know what I'd do in Sweden. I imagine something just as menial but menial outside your city is always better than menial at home with the folks which is where I would live since I'm such a poor loser. That would be like failure really if that happened.

I even thought as I was on my way downtown today that maybe I could sign a full year contract again. I don't know if I want to be here until next October since I need to be on a different continent for my 24th birthday or I will die. Gypsy curse, can't go into it. I'm going to try to find a 6 month contract in central Daegu. I hate telling people where I live and have them give me shocked faces and tell me how far it is. Plus taxi fares are being felt more each day especially now that I owe my boss 1.6 million yen. I hope he just gave me that number to worry me or that he was rounding up at least. I hope it's not 1.68 million won not that it matters much once a certain figure is breached. I guess I'll see how this week goes. I emailed some recruiters and a school or two. I'll be out knocking on hagwon doors tomorrow provided I work my normal hours and have the energy. My early Tuesdays are coming to an end tomorrow. They will be missed. Ok, that's enough contentless drivel for now.