Thursday, June 30, 2005

Waiting for water to boil

I've decided I'm wasting too much time on my computer and with TV. I've become an expert on korean commercials, well not exactly but I already know what commercial it's going to be from the first 2 seconds of music. I could be doing so many more productive things. I could do my laundry or clean my apartment, or wander around my neighbourhood aimlessly. Actually, I don't think I'd do the last one. My neighbourhood isn't all that interesting. I really do keep expecting to happen across something totally amazing but that hasn't really happened. I really don't know what I think will happen. I don't know if I've said this before but I secretly I believe that I have a destiny. Believed is maybe a bit strong, can you subconsciously assume?

I'm actually not really a wordsmith, good thing I was never an english major. It's also good I'm only teaching language and not literary devices. I had to teach 3 math classes today actually. I don't understand why we teach that. Isn't math the only universal language? I assume it has something to do with learning numbers and I only teach it twice a month (to each class that is).

Anyways, TV is taking up too much of my time but I don't know what to fill it up with. I could read but it feels like it makes solitude more intense. I need to listen to something in order to read. Maybe I'm a stimulus junkie. I wrote stimulation junkie before but that has sexual overtones, which is completely unrelated. I tend to have the tv on while listening to something all the while doing something else. I'd feel like an energy glutton but my electric bill was only about $10 this month. Maybe it's because I'm only home for a couple hours a day that don't involve sleeping that is. I wonder how much energy this fan is consuming. It's really just something rotating endlessly so I can't imagine it's tons of energy and it's completely justifiable. It's so freaking hot.

I was never a sweater before coming here. I remember when I was amazed at having a bit of wetness on the small of my back. Yesterday, I was at the gym and my hair actually started to get wet. I've also felt beads of sweat. That happened maybe once before I moved here and it was something really intense. Why is it that so many things have sexual overtones? It's definitely unpleasant. I can't even sleep at night anymore. I did have a dream last night though. I forget what it was about exactly. Sometimes, I feel like dreams are the only proof of actual sleep. Well, that's not true. I remember being on a bus once with a bunch of Australians it Turkey who there for Anzac day. I didn't know them, we were just all on a tour. Anyways, it was a bit strange. They showed a movie on the bus. It was, well I forget the title, some Bruce Willis movie about terrorism in New York so they lock up all the Muslims. What a weird movie to show in a Muslim country. Granted they aren't ultra-muslims but still strange. Some man also got out of his seat and just sat on the floor beside my seat to watch the movie. It felt like a dog or something sitting beside me. I felt like I should've pet him or something. Anyways, it was an overnight bus and you never feel like you sleep on those. I've been on more that I'd like. This is a long drawn out way to say that drooling is also a sign of sleep. There was seriously this huge dark spot on my shirt. Realising you've been drooling is always so embarrassing. Can you even be embarrassed about something if no one even finds out or is that just a sign you're too self-conscious.

I would write more but I'm off to meet someone. Sexual overtones or no?

Sunday, June 26, 2005

It is a small world after all

I had actually did something with someone this weekend. Last weekend was pretty bad. I didn't end up doing anything. I was supposed to go out on Saturday night. Matt and Renee invited me and said they'd call on Saturday. I felt like such a loser waiting for the phone to ring. I could've called them I suppose but would've been even more depressed to find that they weren't home. They didn't end up calling me at all. I was pretty upset about it that night but by Monday, I was only mildly so. I think it bothers me that they didn't even apologise for it. Just an 'oh, if you didn't guess, we didn't end up going out on Saturday.' Well, thanks for telling me. There must be some couple-mentality where they just forget that other people don't always have someone to hang out with. I could've made other plans, too but didn't because I thought I already had plans.

I did something with them on Friday night. We went out for hamburgers and then to a movie, Batman Begins. It was alright but the movie was either too long or the seats were too uncomfortable.

On Thursday we had a field trip. We took the kindies to an ancestral tablet house. It was a little disappointing. We didn't even see any tablets. It was alright, I guess. It would've been nicer if I could understand what the tour guide was saying but alas, the field trips aren't really for me. Painfully obvious. I just end up leading my 7 melons behind some other class. I have the urge to call them melonheads sometimes, not in a bad way...well just a little bit negative. It was better than the last field trip. I never did talk about that. We went to a children's museum. It was fun science, I guess. Pulleys, mirrors, and what not. I remember when that stuff was fun to watch. I've lost a lot my childhood wonder I think. After that was alright, just tiring. It was a bit too hot and I was exhausted all afternoon. In July, we are going swimming. I am just really hoping the kids know how to dress themselves. I don't want to spend 30 minutes helping kids put on their socks.

On the field trip, while we were on the bus, I saw this guy that I had met at some eslcafe gathering. I feel so weird meeting people from the internet. I've only done it twice. That time and yesterday. The first time there were about 10 people. Anyways, I'm not sure that was him but then I saw the same guy on Saturday and made me think that it must have been him. The universe is funny sometimes. I really don't believe in fate or destiny or any of that but sometimes I wonder. Not about that guy though. A couple weekends ago, I went downtown to try to find this korean language school. I knew the general area and walked around but couldn't find anything. I went to a PC bang and tried looking for directions. I ended up finding some posting online about some guy wanting to meet some people. I wouldn't have replied but he was the same age and his wording sounded a bit like mine. I ended up emailing him. We tried to schedule a few things but they didn't really work out (these were the other potential plans I could've made for last Saturday).

We tried on Tuesday. He told me the Starbucks beside Dong-A Dept store downtown. I found it on my map and got there. The starbucks was kind of inside the store, in a corner. I thought, that's strange I thought he said beside. Anyways, he didn't show up and I just flipped through a Korean magazine and left. It must have looked strange to other people since I couldn't read and didn't order anything. It turns out there is another Dong-A dept store, that also has a starbucks, that is also downtown. What are the odds of that? The thought had never even occured to me. Anyways, I met him yesterday and the other starbucks. It turns out we are seperated my only one person in the 6 degree sense. He actually went to the same college as a friend of mine and we know a few of the same people. Well 3, since I don't know that many people at Whittier. This friend of mine, let's call her Smalia, had told me she knew someone else who was teaching in Korea. I thought that's funny but Ijust figured that he would probably be somewhere else in the country since there are english teachers all over the country. He mentionned that he had gone to school in Los Angeles and asked where. I half-expected him to say Whittier and he did. I was even at Whittier the day he graduated, or maybe it was the day before. I think I was and was taken to the airport early or something. Anyways, very strange. It also turns out he was at the same bar that opened last weekend, the one I would've gone to but that's more of a small Daegu story and isn't that exciting. We ended up spending all day together. We had coffee, played some boardgames at Jumanji (they have boardgame cafes here), had supper, and drank quite a bit at quite a few places actually. The boardgame place was strange. We played the Game of Life in Korean. It wasn't much fun so we switched to ones without words. I sucked at geister and was unlucky in Labyrinth but I was the chicken cha cha cha king. My capilisation is very inconsistent. One of those rules I teach but don't always follow myself. My printing has improved and my little u's are back to having tails. I lost them so long ago but if I miss them the kids tell me they are wrong. My 7's with the crosses are wrong too.

I got home last night at 3. I was pretty drunk too. It is too hot here though. My apartment is 32 degrees all the time now. I didn't turn my fan on last night and woke up at 10. I don't know if I'll be able to sleep well until maybe september. I might get used to it. Yesterday, I didn't have much luck sleeping either. There was some yelling korean man right at my window, well outside on the street. I don't know why he was yelling but it really sounded like he doing some kind of military exercise. I really wish I had air conditioning. My fan just isn't cutting it in this heatbowl of a town. You'd think it would be mandatory in a city like this. Then again, I don't think I even have a smoke detector or a fire extinguisher. Maybe I have one somewhere.

Today, I haven't done much at all. I've started a load of laundry. I've been awake for 7 hours too. I need to go downstairs and buy some water but this heat has zapped away my energy (mind you, alcohol is partly responsible) and it doesn't make me want to put real clothes on.

Only one more thing, I know these posts are too long, I have some hardboiled eggs that I just keep on the ledge. Yesterday I went to have one and instead of being white, the egg was this unnatural green colour. How did this happen? Is it something in the egg? Was it the water? Or the heat? It wasn't a rotten green colour it was like a neon green easter egg colour. I just don't understand how the universe works.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Meet Erica


Erica
Originally uploaded by blueshoewhotwo.
It's been awhile since my last post. There are so many other things that I should probably be doing. I have all this work stuff that I should be doing. I haven't finished grading all my tests. I need to do evaluations for about 26 students. I also need to do phone teaching and have to call 26 students I think. Not the same 26 though, well a lot of them are the same. Unfortunately, or luckily enough, I forget all the stuff I needed at work so I can't do it tonight. Well, I could do some of it but I've decided to take the night off. This is such a busy and stressful week. I have to grade tests, write evaluations, do an open class for all the kindie mommies, another presentation, a teacher's meeting, and do phone teaching, and teach all my regular classes. Usually, I have to do only the very last thing.

Oh, and my vacation is being cut short so that we can help the school move all their stuff. This is completely unfair. First of all, my vacation "week" is spread over 2 half weeks so instead of being able to take 2 weekends, there's just the one. My boss told us not to make plans for the first 2 days of the vacation. The schools been there for as long I know of and they happen to move during MY vacation. I'm entitled to those 5 days off and shouldn't have to do anything during those days. If only I was more assertive. I feel like just telling him I won't be coming but most of you know I'm not that assertive. I also don't want to make trouble but that's my vacation damn it. A total of 5 days and if I fly anywhere than it's really only 3 full days. Enough about that though.

I had an open class this week with my Melon class. I thought it went alright but what do I know. Some of the mommies had some complaints. I don't speak loudly enough, slow enough, and my volume declines too much over the course of my sentence. The kids don't have a problem with it. If they don't understand, I do speak louder and slower. I wonder if it's just because some of the mothers thought they should be able to understand what I was saying and couldn't. Who knows? I'm also too nice and too friendly with the kids or in other words aren't strict enough. That's all because of Andrew. He's my newest kid. He's completely thrown off the class dynamic. He's been there 2 weeks and is a bit of a problem child. I gave them an activity and Andrew took the box and dumped all the materials on the table. I guess I didn't get angry enough with him. What am I going to do with his mother right in the room? Then I'd just get a complaint that I was too strict or too angry. He and Justin are becoming fast friends too. Justin, I'm afraid will be turned to the dark side.

Justin's been annoying me a bit lately too. Kids are just allowed to come into the faculty room as much as they want. I sit right by the wall with the door on that same wall. They open the door and poke me. There are at least of my students that do that to me. It's so annoying, especially if I'm doing something. I also wish I never taught them 'tickle, tickle.' Now, my Melons do it to each other can get mad. They say "Teacher, Paul tickle tickle" or Paul's tickling me for those not fluent in the art of broken English. I almost don't even notice how bad my kids' grammar is or their pronunciation. Their writing reminds me though. Stuff like 'day' instead of they. Grading takes so long, I meant to do it today but I got sick of doing it. It's exhausting when they make so many mistakes. I only like grading the smart kids' stuff.

Maybe I should go get a pizza since I'm being so lazy today. I went to the gym yesterday and the day before that. I could still go today but I don't feel like it. Yes, I'm going to get a pizza.

Mmmmm, yummy pizza will be coming soon. If only I could use my willpower for useful things. I could've said, yes I should go to the gym tonight. Actually, something weird happened there yesterday. That guy, Chen, was there. Somehow I ended up giving him my phone number and have general plans to do something with his family the first weekend of July. I really need to meet some people. I shouldn't be hanging out with middle-aged Koreans who are just using me to practice their English.

I think I'll probably end up taking some Korean classes downtown. It's twice a week and only required me running downtown for 2 hours during my lunchbreak. It might be a little hectic but I think I can do it. I haven't done anything in weeks. Actually, once the school moves at the end of July, it will be a lot better for me. The school will only be a 5 minute (well 7, I timed it) walk from my house instead of 15. It's also right next to a station so I don't have to worry about the 15 minute walk to the subway station during my lunchbreak. Also, if I'm feeling very lazy I could just catch the subway one stop from home. It would take just as long, I think, waiting for the train to get there but it would require virtually no walking.

I'm probably going to be going downtown this weekend. One of the local teachers, who Matt and Renee haven't introduced me to, has a friend who is opening some kind of bar. I should get a chance to meet a few other foreigners. I wouldn't mind meeting Koreans if it weren't for the thought that I was being used. I'd much rather be used for company.

Originally, I thought I could make it until the end of my contract. It was my goal at least but when my two bosses were telling me about the complaints that some of the mommies had (I just like to call them the mommies) I realised that I'm really not cut out for teaching. I'm probably not outgoing or funny enough. Nor do I have the energy to add extras things to make the class more fun or entertaining. Well, not for 6 classes a day at least. I'd be at the school working non-stop for 10 hours a day. At least, I imagine I would be. Maybe, I wouldn't but I don't want to put in the effort to try.

Part of it has to do with my social life though. I don't like having weeks where have no time to do anything outside of work and weekends where I have way too much time and nothing to do. If my social life doesn't pick up, I don't imagine I'd be able to finish my contract. I think I need something to look forward to on the weekend aside from the idea of being away from work. I really shouldn't be writing during my busiest week. It really makes me complain a lot more. I don't love my job but I don't hate it either. It's so-so. Plus my never having had a full time job, makes me feel overworked. I do prefer being a student to a teacher though. I'd be so much better if I could control the students. Renee said the other day that her open class was more stressful than any presentation she ever had before. That is so true. There are so many variables teaching kids. Amy said my lesson plan and the timing was great at least.

So after all of that, I'll tell you Erica. She's in my Melon class. This picture is from a field trip that I never told you about. Erica's very cute but she never says all that much. She answers my questions and everything but never tries to tell me anything else like the other kids. The first day while I was observing, she and I played little games behind Amy's back. Whenever she sees me though, she saws Shawn Teacher and she giggles. She's very friendly but just not a talker, at least in English. She's also the sticker page queen. I'm sure I've talked about the sticker pages. After so many stickers they get a prize. Erica's always asking for her stickers. She also stays behind and collects everyone's page. Then she puts them all in the folder with hers on top. It's all very cute though. She just loves those pages. Actually, she showed me her page a few times. She was so proud and tell me how many stickers until her prize. She doesn't create many problems in class but if something bad happens to her she gets a little violent. Probably from having 2 older siblings. That's mostly how she loses herr stickers. She's also really into flashcards and loves any flashcard game. She also takes Paul as her partner because he couldn't care less and she just takes all his cards. Maybe, I'll introduce you to Paul next.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

A whole year now

Ok so maybe it hasn't been a year. I am another year older though. I feel so old now. 23 just seems like such an adult age to be. I'm 4 years older than a 19 year old. I've managed to have my last 3 birthdays on different continents though. That's impressive I think. I wonder if I can keep that going. Well, I know I can't given the limited number of continents.

My parents have come and gone now. I think I've posted once since they've come. We didn't really do that many exciting things since I only saw them for about 2-3 hours a day most of the time. We went to Gyeonju on Sunday. It was too much walking I think. We also went to a museum only because we all felt obligated. It was alright though. It was a bit strange that the English translations were only 3 lines when the Korean was maybe 20. The Chinese was short too but given that each word is only one symbol long (as far as I know about Chinese) I don't think it was quite as concise as English. Some Koreans also askedif we had seen the bible. They gave us a pamphlet of a paradise where you can handfeed bears. Matt and Renee have Jehovah's Witnesses that pay them regular visits. I'm glad I don't have any of those.

Then I was back to work. The nice thing was that I was eating out every night. Lots of yummy western food. It was mostly a bunch of meat. Bennigan's, Outback Steakhouse, hamburgers. One night my boss took us out one night for authentic Korean food. That was a good night. I burnt my tongue on some grilled pork though. It hard to tell how hot something is when it's still on the grill and you only have chopsticks and don't have the skills to test it. I did it a few times actually.

I was pretty tired by the end of the week. I was still sick. Friday was nice because I got to sleep in a bit later than usual. I had to wake up earlier on Saturday so we could catch the train. I bought the wrong fare on the way to the station. It was only one past my usual downtown stop. I put in the coin and then the gates closed and yelled at me in Korean. Well not really yell. I wasn't that embarassed actually. A guy came out and I knew I owed him an extra 100 won (10c). It seems a bit ridiculous for a dime. Then we hopped on the train and headed for Busan. I slept most of the way. As soon as we got there, we jumped in a cab and headed for the Marriott right on the beach. It's the most popular bit of coastline in the country. It was alright but nothing stellar. I felt upscale though staying at the Marriott. Usually, the most upscale place I stay with my parents in the Holiday Inn. It was only because my parents were too afraid to show up somewhere without reservations. I've never been worried about that. It was a long weekend though and once we got there, there were no extra rooms. Or at least the kind we wanted. We had a room with 2 twins and I got to sleep on a cot. It was still a lot more comfortable than my mattress in Daegu. I think I slept over 11 hours both nights we spent there. The days weren't that exceptional though. We just walked up and down the beach on a sidewalk that was semi under construction. We saw the little mermaid though. This one is more glamourous and bigger than thee one in Copenhagen but almost much less nice. We hiked for about 10 feet up to the top of this little hill. Somehow though, instead of going back the way we came, my mother and I were climbing over railings over rocks. It probably wasn't the smartest thing to do. My mom just didn't want to admit we couldn't climb down that way. We walked around that part of the city for a few hours. Mostly though it was walking on the beach between meals. A nice relaxing weekend but I didn't see very much. I'll have to go to downtown Busan some other time. Haeundae beach was very touristy. There were so many white people there. By so many I mean like 50 of 2000 probably. Some of them were so loud. Definitely American. Probably military. They made me embarassed to be white. Just loud and obnoxious, you know the type. They might have been Canadian but I doubt they were and prefer to remove myself from them by another step. We kept seeing the same white people though. Funny, how they just stand out so much more. I almost felt like I was Hawaii though only because of the hills, western chain restaurants and more white people than I had seen in a while. I was actually looking forward to going back to Daegu to get away from them. Only because I feel less representative here, if that makes sense. Just a white person instead of 'one of those white people.'

I think I'll close this chapter of the story and write more later. I always say that I will and then just start writing about something completely different. Maybe this weekend or tomorrow perhaps. I should've been grading some tests tonight. I made them too hard today. They took the whole class to finish and some didn't finish at all. Mostly, because they are slow (aka stupid). Actually, it's because they kept talking to each other instead of writing their tests. I don't feel that bad for them but I think I should probably let them work on the tests a bit more so they don't completely humiliate themselves. Some only did 3 of 5 pages. I have to make tests for so many classes this week. I'm looking forward to regular classes again.