It'll have to be tomorrow

Well, I was going to quit today but I couldn't. At the end of the day, I couldn't find the director anywhere. I really hate Tuesdays. Everyone else goes home at 6:30 on Tuesdays. I'm there teaching the only class of 3 bratty teenage girls. I suppose technically, they are tweens. I'm not sure how old they are exactly. 11 or 12. Anyways, they drove a boy out of their class. They were so mean to that boy. I sided with him one day and made mortal enemies out of the girls. I was actually doubting whether or not I should quit today. I had a really good class with my kindies. I think it was mostly because I'd resigned to quit so I didn't feel as stressed as I usually would. Plus it was just science, so they run around having fun and their experiments didn't work at all. I don't know how the designers expected us to make whistles from straws. Anyways, that was kind of fun. Then I planned and came home for about an hour. It could've been 2.5 hours but I had to go back for a presentation at 2. A time that works well for those who had been teaching right before 2. I understand and all but during lunch on my Tuesday. I'm supposed to be free during that time. The presentation was ok. We had to pretend to be 8 year olds. The presenter was demonstrating a lesson for one of the classes we share. It was full of games and fun exercises. I doubt she does that normally. It was just like my presentation. An idealised version that's too time consuming to actually prepare as a real lesson. Why bother really?

Then since the presentation ended around 230. I still had an hour to kill before starting my afternoon. You see, if I thought of it as an hour off it would be fine but it seriously just feels like time to kill. I took a little walk. I found a school that I had sent an email to. It was an ad posted online somewhere. You'd think in a city of 2.5 million people that the school wouldn't be 5 minutes from where I work now. It's actually further from where I live now too. The only nice thing about where I live is its proximity to the subway station. Then I went back to work and continued my downward spiral getting more tired and angrier. I don't remember the last time I walked home not being angry. I wonder if I ever did. I think maybe once or twice when I felt so free being released at 730. I had recharged somewhat during the weekend. Not enough to feel rested but I was getting there.

Yesterday, we had the staff meeting. Same as always. Korean, Korean, Korean, stuff we could read off the agenda, Korean, Korean, ask for some suggestions about something, korean, dismiss our suggestion and do something completely different, more korean, then a bit more, then a lot more and then 'thank you teachers, goodnight.' Then that mother was back today to ask more of Renee during her break. I also found out that I have to stay late on Friday moving stuff out of the big room for the speech contest. I thought it was going to be downtown with other schools. I hope I at least get to sit down at a real table in real chairs. The preliminary rounds where they weed out all those that make the school look bad(like 75%), I had to sit in a tiny little chair made for 3 year olds. It was seriously a foot off the ground. I don't know how the plan changed or why they didn't bother telling us the plan had changed. They told it to us like it had always been this way. Maybe it was. I really only learn information from the meeting agendas. Occasionally, something will be put on the calendar but that's always some unexpected piece of not-so-good news.

I forget my phone teaching stuff at work today. It's so sad that I won't be able to talk on the phone tonight. I would really like to look at my daily schedule or weekly one whatever without mumbling obscenities to myself. #$#$#% Phone teaching tonight. @#$# phone teaching next week, evaluations, presentations, etc. etc. At the end of the day, I knew that quitting was a good decision. I don't know how long it will take to find another job here though. So far, I've only seen ones listed online, which I'm sure aren't the best ones. Maybe though, I know enough people that I can get some word of mouth jobs. Ones so good and well sought after that no one ever knows they're available. I can hope anyways.

I'm definitely going to quit tomorrow. Maybe at the beginning of my lunch hour since I pretty stuck there all day on Wednesdays.